X-Files Limericks Season 1!

Get ready for some Sanpaco Rhyme Licks! Well I have been kind of busy lately with school and I don't think I've really had a whole lot of interesting or original thoughts. So for today's post I'm going to dig into the archives of some dumb poetry I've written over the past year or so. The following is a limerick for every episode of the first season of The X-Files. Hope you enjoy them.

Pilot

Exhuming a boy that was dead,
Finding a monkey instead.
Time loss at night,
And scary bug bites.
Dirty feet means he got out of bed.


Deep Throat

Test pilots going insane
Implies they aren't flying a plane.
When Mulder then spies
UFOs that fly by
The memory is erased from his brain.


Squeeze

Eugene Victor Tooms is a man
Who'll eat your liver with his bare hands.
He sleeps in his bile
And this gooey X-File
In thirty years will come back again.


Conduit

A sunburn at night by the lake
Can't be a weather balloon mistake
The girl is returned
By the trees that were burned
And her mother tells her it was fake.


The Jersey Devil

She'll tear out your lung if you piss her.
She's a cannibalistic sister.
One homeless man dead
Another in a hotel bed.
Mulder is sure gonna miss her.


Shadows

Her boss treated her like a dad.
Now he's dead and she's very sad.
Now he's a ghost.
Her new boss is toast.
He kills them all because he's mad.


Ghost in the Machine

A computer named COS
That everyone thought was the best.
A C.E.O. shocked
And FBI squashed;
Now a virus will lay it to rest.


Ice

A virus pulled out of the ice
Just didn't know how to play nice.
If infected you'll kill
Because you are ill.
The cure is to be infected twice.


Space

A girl who's fiance is flying,
And a captain unknowingly lying,
A ghost face from Mars
Flips over cars,
The captain tries helping by dying.


Fallen Angel

An invisible alien burns
All in his path where he turns.
A fun-loving schizo
Turns into a psycho
Abducted by aliens Mulder learns.


Eve

Psychopathic Eves escape
And to the young one's fathers exsanguinate.
Two little twins
Beginning to sin
Later escape with Eve 8.


Fire

A man controls fire so hot,
And burns Parliament members a lot.
Mulder's afraid
Of the fire he made,
And he burns himself when he is caught.


Beyond the Sea

Dana Scully's dad has died.
She misses him deep down inside.
When she works on a case,
She again sees his face
On a psychic criminal, then cried.


Gender Bender

A man or a woman? Who knows?
It turns out that 'it' is both.
Sleeping in clay
Then they all went away
In one of their UFOs.


Lazarus

An FBI agent survives
But has a different spirit inside
The criminal's wife
Then takes his life
Right after he remembers a snowy drive.


Young at Heart

A man who much older was
Now younger with a salamander glove.
When first he was caught
Mulder should have shot.
When he catches him again, he does.


E. B. E.

UFOs seen everywhere
Means something's definitely up there.
There's taps and bugs
Which Mulder unplugs
And give Scully a bit of a scare.


Miracle Man

The touch from the son of a preacher
Instead of a miracle brings a seizure.
A man dressed in black
Wants to go back.
He was dead at the start of the feature.


Shapes

A shape-shifting werewolf no doubt
Will eat something more than just trout
A man with a gun
Stopped all his fun
Then his son ripped his jugular out.


Darkness Falls

Loggers go cut down a tree
And let mini spiders go free
They come out at night
But stay out of the light
Sucking mositure out of you and me.


Tooms

Tooms hunting liver again
Has suddenly found a new friend
Mulder close by
On him keeps an eye
An escalator gives Tooms his end.


Born Again

If a man could come back from the dead
And live in a little girl's head
Revenge he would get
For the murder he met
By the guy that's now in his wife's bed.


Roland

Scientists keep getting killed
One by getting his head chilled
An evil twin's brain
Makes Roland cause pain
Because it projects to him its will.


The Erlenmeyer Flask

A doctor with alien DNA
From the syndicate runs away
A flask labeled "Purity"
Turns out not to be
The monkey pee, Scully will say